I called Darren's sister Renee tonight. We are all always so busy and I don't get to talk to her very often. We had a great conversation, and I got to tell her about our adoption plans (had tried to call her a few weeks back and we never connected).
She was so very excited. She then told me of her dear friends who adopted a baby girl from Ethiopia. She said that the baby was really young, (under 6 months), and when they 1st had her tested for AIDS she was negative, but shortly after she tested positive. I could feel the panic rise up in me. My heart begin beating fast and my chest got tight. Renee went on to tell me that her friends daughter is an absolute joy. That she is just beautiful. She was only given until she was a little over 2 to live and she is doing well and is over 3. Renee said she is just so cute and fun. I think what stood out was there was no hesitation in this nurses comments, (Renee is a nurse), about worrying about her friends daughter having AIDS (I think many have such a mis-conception of this disease). She went on to tell me that she had a much bigger chance contracting AIDS from being a nurse then from her friends daughter. She said that there sweet girl only has to take some med's daily and other than that she is pretty normal at this point. We talked some more and talked about how the chances are just so small that that would happen to us, but it is a possibility. She told me that God would give us the perfect child that was meant for us and I so had to agree.
Well, as I got off the phone I was still panicked a bit. I mean that just confirmed that it "does happen"...there's no for sure guarantee. Darren & I have been going back and forth about how old to adopt. Under 6 months it's much harder to detect AIDS. The mom's blood is still in the baby for months...there might be a false positive because of that. But, there also might be a negative that becomes a positive later. But, then you miss out on the "baby" stage if you go to old. And then there's attachment disorders. Friends...let me say that adopting from Ethiopia is not stress free.
So, then I thought...what will Darren think? And what if we ended up with a baby with AIDS how would our friends, our church, our community treat our sweet baby. As I listened to Renee tell of how not one their friends around have a "phobia" of "catching" anything from this sweet baby...they all are fine and free with there kids playing with the baby and they love on her like any other child. This family is even now a foster family and have foster kids in their home...the state doesn't even worry. But, I had to think...what will our friends think, and will this sway Darren in any way. And am I okay with taking a risk? I was really feeling major stress.
I came home from out running errands and told Darren of our conversation. I actually was waiting for the bomb, (it's hard because my heart is already there and we are already in the process). Here's what he said, "I'm not worried about AIDS." Okay... I am more in love with my husband right at this very moment then I ever have been. {Tears} What an amazing man. He wasn't talking about he's not worried about getting a child with AIDS, that won't happen to us attitude...he was saying he's not worried about if our baby ended up with AIDS.
Not only do we agree that Love has no color...but, neither does a disease that we might not know about until it's past changing the fact. And I really didn't think I'd ever see my husband at this place. I thought it would be "just to much", or something. But, I was in amazement, and still am. As our guest Pastor spoke on Sunday..."Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk? Are you a risk taker, a care taker, or an undertaker? Do you take risks for God, or do you just care for what is around you and never venture out, or do you just stay under all the time and take everyone else down with your misery? I saw that my husband is a risk taker!
God took a risk on us. All our horrible sins and all. What risks are we willing to take? I'm not going to ask for an AIDS baby. But, what if God gives us one? We've been praying that He gives us the child He has for us. That He protects and cares for His mother and Him or her (we are open to either at this point). I'm not for sure what age right now. Maybe a bit older, maybe not. But, I do know this...my husband amazes me. We could risk being rejected by our friends, by our community, by many others, (sadly because of no education on this disease)...and he is okay with it because he knows that once our child ...always our child. It's AMAZING love! Just like God has Amazing love for me.
